As a parent, you learn pretty quickly that it's much better to pay someone else to use their facility for your child's birthday party vs. hosting it at your house. Especially when you were unfortunate to have a child in the cold winter months when forcing the kids outside isn't really an option.
This year, Lauren turned the big 1-0. A full DECADE old! Of course a milestone of this magnatude has to be properly celebrated. We can all thank MTV and that damn Super Sweet 16 show for that, huh? So off we went to the local indoor waterpark for a day of swimming and giggling with two of her bestest buddies. The park we went to was pretty much perfect. Not too big or too crowded. The girls had a blast.
But let me tell you...beyond my trip to the Boundary Waters of Minnesota, I have never been SO FUCKING BORED! Visiting an indoor waterpark and paying the spectator fee is just about equal to signing up for water torture vs. water fun. The place is 85 degrees in there. Nice for swimmers, but hello! I'd just come from outside where it's 20 degrees and snowing. My sweatshirt, jeans and long, blue socks (yes, I'm that sexy) were soooo appropriate for that climate. Thank God for the invention of the baseball hat. At least my face was fairly well hidden!
And then, there was the oh-so comfortable chaise lounge chair I had to sit in! You know, when you're outside in the summer laying out in the sun, there ain't nothing better than a chaise lounge. But when you're stuck just sitting in one all day, it's a whole other story. (Yes I'm old and bitching about my bad back here.) They did have a movie screen set up in there to help pass the time. I got to see Disney's Hercules and Emperor's New Groove but by mid-afternoon the selection went a bit downhill and I was forced to endure the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movie!
By 2pm, I'd finished the first book I'd brought and the girls took a break to eat. At least the prices of the food wasn't outrageous. They had a nice Pizza Hut Express in there with plenty of Diet Pepsi. (It's nice to be reassured there is a God in heaven.) But I was forced to watch other adults walking around with alcoholic drinks from the bar as I had to drive the girls home later. Seven HOURS later...but still. Be responsible, right? Although, I think I did deserve at least one of that TMNT movie!
I was, at least, able to people watch. That's always a perk of public places. And hey, I felt a LOT better about the extra 50 pounds I've been carrying around. Hell, if the people I saw walking around in bathing suits are any guide, I have at least 50 more to go before I should be overly embarrassed! And let me tell you, for a minute I was almost compelled to call animal control until I realized it was just THE HAIRIEST DUDE I'D EVER SEEN! Dude. Wear a fucking shirt! Ew!
At least the last movie I got to watch was Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer!
