Here Piggy Piggy!

Another year, another fair is in the books!

The Monday following the Boone County Fair is fast becoming my favorite day of the year. I almost love it more than Christmas morning!

The total exhaustion of being an exhibitor at a county fair is something those of you "normal" folks will never be forced to endure and you should get on your knees and thank the Lord right now!

Oh how innocent I used to be when the week of the fair would roll around and John and I would pack the kids in the car and head up for a fun NIGHT of carnival rides, junk food and admiring the animals in the barns. (Ok. That was always JOHN's thing, but still, I supported!)

Now, we pack a TRUCK full of shit that spills over to the car. One night becomes SIX fun filled days AND nights. Countless hours are spent standing around in a urine & feces scented building watching my beloved children slap a pig on the ass to impress a judge who gives each kid the same color ribbon. Laundry piles up by the minute.

Our wallets are sucked dry of all their cash every day and our waistlines grow before your eyes with a diet of funnel cakes, corn dogs, funnel cakes, pork chop sandwiches, funnel cakes, cheese fries, funnel cakes, cheeseburgers, and did I mention funnel cakes? They cover them in chocolate sauce as well as powdered sugar now like they really did need MORE calories in them!! And WHAT the fuck do the Belvidere fireman put in their donuts?! They are definitely the "crack cocaine" of the fair. We went through four dozen in six days! That's 48 donuts, folks!

So today, we escape back to work. The buildings are blessedly air-conditioned and fresh smelling. Plus, I can SIT at my computer all day to work (and even take time to put my head on my desk and nap!).

359 days til it all starts again....

Big Bear….Big Bear Chase Me!

Last fall, John’s sister and I decided it would be fun to vacation together “Great Outdoors” style and rent a cabin by a lake where the men (and tomboy Lauren) could fish and someplace close enough to civilization (a.k.a. a mall) so the girls could escape boredom when it popped its ugly head. Being the “event coordinator” that I am, I began my search on the net for such a place. We were on a limited budget so our selection was already on the shaky side. Apparently $1500 only goes so far! But I finally found a place about an hour north of Minneapolis, MN that seemed perfect. It was right off the water and even had canoes for us to use, a paddle boat AND a pontoon boat if we wanted to rent it for $300. It had plenty of room for the nine people in our group and plenty of activities for the kids to pass the time: a ping pong table, pool table, and even a fooseball table. Perfect. The photos on the net gave impressions of mornings drinking coffee on the screened-in porch and games at the table at the kitchen table followed by movies around the T. V. in the living room.

Expectations were high.

Reality is was more of a kick in the ass. Reality was a screen porch that was missing half the screens with only three windows that opened. Reality was furniture that was about 30 years out-of-date. Reality was cobwebs on walls and ceilings. (I spent a lot of quality time with the duster all week attacking knocking those down). And was WAS that smell?!

At least there was the lake! You just had to take your life in your hands a bit in order to get to it. The dock was half falling apart and we were sure one of us was going to step right through it one day. The canoes both had holes in them. And the pontoon boat that was offered to us for the bargain price of $300, I’m amazed the thing actually floated! It looked like it had been built in 1960 after dumpster diving for parts and pieces to scrap it together.

But we did get some entertainment from the paddle boat. The kids’s first attempt on it was America’s Funniest Home Movies quality.



And watching the poor teenage girls coming out of the house holding their cell phones up in the air in search of “just one bar” was like watching religious zealots worshipping their gods. “OH GREAT CELL GOD! PLEASE GIVE US SERVICE TODAY!” In the end, we did manage to have a great time. And Lauren was crowned queen of the lake after she caught 15 fish. We each got an ENTIRE BITE of fish one night for dinner after she & JB caught six of them. “Tonight, we feast!” So will we attempt this again? Hopefully. Next time, I just know to look for rooms in a resort vs. a rental house!